Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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