WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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