she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize