A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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