Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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