mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize