She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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