dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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