you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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