Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When are your genitals available?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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