Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i love accidental penises.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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