Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im holly from the hills drunk
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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