Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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