Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize