god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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