She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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