Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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