but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
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She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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