a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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