I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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