she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
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Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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