you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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