What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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