If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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