I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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