She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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