All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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