Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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