This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize