I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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