he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize