you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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