I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize