Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize