He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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