I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just invented taco cereal.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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