She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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