I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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