Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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