jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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