no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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