I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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