I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize