You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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