She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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