yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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