were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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