I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize