I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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