i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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